Being a victim many a times myself , I am careful not to speak as one who has gotten it all, but from the few lessons I have learnt as i advance in age and stage, I realise that there are lots of things that does damage to us, that we don’t even count as anything but are out there creating loops in our lives, loops that leave us tired and unsatisfied.
Self disrespect is so common in relationships, like you would just choose to insult and belittle yourself so you can make the other person feel bad and in a way accept you , it is termed as emotional blackmail but the reality is , it is a total lack of self esteem. Stop going ahead selling yourself in relationships so that someone can feel the need to accept you, it is love , not bondage. Your hunger for acceptance can never be filled in this way, for our uniqueness can only be recognized by first ourselves and those truly who cherish us.
I remember one time like that, I was in this relationship always fighting for attention and acceptance and one day I wrote about how I felt to the person, I think I wrote, I know I am unworthy, you don’t want me blah, blah , blah and trust me looking back right now, I am just like really, seriously, did I actually say that. I know love makes us do and say crazy things but disrespecting your own self , that one is just low.
Finding your worth as a man or woman is not in how much of attention you get or what people think of you, not even in what you own , it is simply an intentional innate discovery of your own self and uniqueness.
The greatest thing in life is to know how to belong to oneself -Micheal de Montaigne.
Stop downplaying yourself, love deeply, give freely, give your best in making things better in your relationship with others but don’t disrespect yourself , don’t damage your self esteem, don’t grieve your uniqueness, don’t term low self esteem as humility because if you do, you are in a way denying your own very existence.