Why can’t I change my bad habits?


Why are bad habits easier to do than good habits?

I penned down this question in my sticky note the moment I picked up the book “Atomic Habits “ to read.
This question is not just a mere thought that my mind embraced but a deep reflection of my life and the loop I fall into with my bad habits despite all my good efforts to change it.

 It is like we know just what we are supposed to do, stop procrastinating, stop being a bad listener, stop watching too much tv, less social media, stop self-sabotage, stop wasting money the list goes on but we do the exact opposite which can get very frustrating.

Reflection: Bad habits gives us temporary comfort while it allows us underestimate its cumulative consequence while good habits requires what we term as  discomfort which is in fact discipline which breeds freedom with its respective consequence and its more like we are wired to do what will comfort us now while we downplay its future impact. 

Our Habits are what we do, What we do is who we are

Habits are the reflection of what we repeatedly do and what we do metamorphosis into who we are. You are a person who procrastinate because you repeatedly do so and eventually it becomes who you are.

Why we find it difficult to change our bad habits is because we are more focused on changing our bad habits than changing who we really are.

If our habits are who we are then it is more eye opening to see that we are not supposed to just change our outcome but rather to change our identity.

This is what I mean, if I love to lie,  my goal is not supposed to be just “Stop lying in 2021”(outcome) but rather to “stop being a person that lies” (Identity).

The logic is if I stop lying for a little while, it doesn’t mean I have stop being a liar because sooner or later I would relapse however if I focus on becoming a woman that doesn’t lie. I can gradually build a lasting self worth and integrity.

Reflection: You can apply the above logic to all habits you wish to change.

A successful person is not a reflection of his goal to be a successful person is life, he is but a reflection of the daily efforts he put towards being successful that what makes the difference.

Bad Habits don’t change overnight, neither does Good habit begin overnight.

We are always looking for quick fixes and life hacks which offers temporary solution to a cancerous problem.

Our bad habit doesn’t go away in one moment of motivation and enthusiasm, but it is in acknowledging that type of person that we want to be and taking actions that further affirms that.

It is a gradual process we choose to follow.

It is to consciously move from who you are now to who you want to be by changing what you do.